easter.

i am feeling a lot of guilt today.  it has been a helluva day.  not the worst day ever-but not the best day ever.  my boys are sick.  liam's diaper leaked all over my dress during church.  i made dinner for my fam...turkey dinner...and making a turkey is always a stressful experience for me-i'm always worried someone will die of food born illness because i didn't remove the giblets right.  seth is out of town.  my right hand daughter bella is out of town...the guilt part is that i'm feeling frustrated when i am #seriouslysoblessed.  holidays are hard when you lose a loved one.  it feels really "real" on days like today.  i want nothing more than to sit down and chat with my dad....ask him what i should do about certain things-get his steady, fair, and thoughtful advice.  i want someone in my corner again.  BUT in all of this today is an amazing day because He lives.  i think i feel the "guilt" because it truly took me until today to realize the power and joy of the empty tomb.  i saw this picture today and fell in love with it.  i love the looks on the apostles faces as they are running to find that indeed there is life after death and truly the Savior was and is everything they ever believed him to be.  i am grateful for my loving Heavenly Father that he would be brave enough to sacrifice his own son-FOR ME...for everyone.  there are not words to describe the utter reverence and unworthiness i feel for the Savior and the atonement and the gift He has given to each of us personally.  these past few months i have survived by thinking of Him and the fact that He loves me-I am not alone...because as Elder Holland says "because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so."

     "One of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so."