Inspired by some things and experiences I have had lately I want to vent. I think one of my biggest pet peeves is when people act like they have everything figured out. The best way for me to illustrate this is going back to either a baby shower or bridal shower. For example, you open present "A" maybe some baby einstein dvds (baby shower), or some lingerie (parenthesis should not be necessary to label shower type) you look up at your audience of guests to say thank you to gift giver and everyone has to say annoying "know it all" comments like "That lingerie isn't really for you" chuckle chuckle (add eyes rolling in knowingness from commenter) or "those dvds are bad for your babies reading development, you really need to be careful about how much tv watching your baby does...." blah blah blah. The trouble for me is that these types of events naturally foster advice and by having a shower you are asking for it in some way. You think that after you are married or after you have kids the advice will slow down...but NO! I feel like there are some people who thrive on giving advice, especially when they think they have it all figured out. Seth and I, through life experiences lately have learned that you NEVER have it all figured out. I look at my father-in-law who passed away almost three years ago this August. He was an amazing man. He scored a 35 on the ACT. He graduated cum laude from the 5 year dual MBA/accounting program at BYU and then went on to be a partner at a prestigious accounting firm. He was involved publicly and was a respected community leader. At age 37 he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Someone who seemingly had everything going for them received a huge blow. On a side note however he does not fit into the pet peeve category because he DID NOT act like he had everything figured out. I just get frustrated with people who experience success on some level in their lives and feel like that entitles them to give you advice. Its not like I don't need advice but if I don't knock, I don't need an answer. I guess I am just kind of rambling and not really going anywhere but if there is one thing I can say to sum it all up is that I am going to make sure that I let everyone have their life experiences without being the girl at the shower who knows everything about raising children, changing diapers, and making bottles. We never know what will happen in our lives and I don't want to end up with my foot in my mouth.
ang
8 comments:
HERE! HERE!!!! I agree and I think I ,from time to time, could be one of those sharers of unsolicited advice..In fact, growing up, my big sister Martha (check her blog at thegtrain5.blogspot.com) used to call me Dr. KIA. (KIA=Know It All)-I hated it. Now its funny. I still like to know it all--but, I don't, really. Everyday I realize how little I know...GREAT POST and a GREAT reminder to leave judgement to someone else who REALLY does know it all and to try harder to learn from eachother. I miss you Angie-you're a great writer and I'm glad we can keep up like this!
hey girl. love the post. i saw you on georgia's comments and remembered you from OHS. glad to see your cute little ones on here.
We need to get together. Call me once you're settled in your house!
Ha... aren't people annoying? Funny thing is that half the crap they say isn't really scientifically founded. It's some study "suggesting" this when there are three other studies that suggest three different things. Moreover, twenty years ago half the things we're "supposed" to do now, we WEREN'T "supposed" to do then... who knows what we'll be "supposed" to do twenty years from now." Loving your kids and taking an interest in their development is the only real kicker for me.
The absolute best is when you're getting advice from people with less experience than you. I love it when people without kids start lecturing us on what method of childcare is the best.
Ridiculous.
I have to confess I am often an advice giver. But I really hope I am not in the way you describe because I hate those people. I always try to qualify that I don't know what I am talking about but that this is what works for me. I enjoy sharing experiences but get so annoyed at those who think that their way of doing things is the ONLY way to do it. And that you are stupid. Grrr...I think as you grow older and get more kids the advice flow even more freeely. Oh, you picked a hot topic alright. I will stop now.
I am guilty, I used to call Nate Dr. KIA but I don't anymore b/c he no longer acts like a KIA.
I believe Nate believes, like me, that knowledge evolves so it's not very smart to tell someone how you have it all figured out when tom. you realize that yesterday you were ignorant of so many things.
Your house looks beautiful.
The most important thing I've learned is to respect other peoples way of living life and learn what you can from them with out worrying if they are doing it right or wrong. There is always more than one right way to do things and a lot of the time people tend to forget that. Great blog!
I can't agree with you more. I don't like being told what to do and how I should be living my life. Some people really try to control everyone around them and think are all knowing. Does having more kids than me really make you know more? My Mom had 12 kids and is always open to different ideas. I could go on forever on this subject.
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